Hello, my name is Frederick Robert Finklehoffe, or as the humans refer to me – Fred. I am a barred rock rooster and come from a long line of show chickens. Every feather of mine is placed to perfection and all my features conform to ideal breed standards. This means all of my hens love me and want to be near me at all times; it’s quite the undertaking if I’m being completely honest. I also want to point out that I’m not arrogant, I just acknowledge that I have been specifically breed with beauty that every creature can appreciate.
I am one of two roosters in the coop and my looks have faultlessly made me the commanding rooster of the coop. I have befriended Albert, the inferior rooster, not only because he supports me in my governance but also because I understand the importance of keeping your enemies close. Although I’m confident Albert could never achieve the level of perfection that I have, he has of late undergone quite the growth spurt which leaves me rather apprehensive of my future reign. Hopefully I won’t be overtaken by his complete brutality.
It is with great pleasure to report that in addition to having my hens adore me, my humans are also quite fond of me. They reward me on my excellent roosting skills by providing me with special treats. But, I do not believe that they understand the level of perfection I exude, otherwise they would not allow their big golden hound to chase after me for amusement. Nor would they keep me in such slum conditions. I mean seriously, what does a bloke need to do to get some classier living conditions?
As of recently, I have found my crow which is quite fetching. I feel like I was releasing pure magnificence to all of the eardrums around me, although I’m not sure if the littlest human would agree? I heard her mention that my crow sounded like a baby elephant trumpeting their trunk for the first time. I’m not sure if that was meant to be a compliment, but elephants are majestic creatures so I’ll interpret that as an accolade.
That is all I have to share today, but I will continue to keep you updated on the excellent undertaking I’m doing under the Finklehoff roosting reign.
The Coop Troop 